heckyeatumblr#8.

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8. The book that made you a reader.


I hate to say it, but I'm not a reader. I get really impatient with lots of books...

I hate it when you can tell the author is just writing about something that happened to them, or something which they find important but they pass it off as being a character's trait or interest...

I hate it when a book just assumes like you're interested. Just cos I picked up the book don't mean I have to finish it bub.

I just haven't had that much luck with books I suppose, probably because I try and avoid 'easy reads' because I like to think I'm 'better than that'.

It's strange, because when I find a book I enjoy, I love it, it feels amazing, it can really open my mind and I thoroughly enjoy having my mind opened. Last time that happened was probably Revolutionary Road by Richard Yates. And the time before that, probably the Vagina Monologues (yup.). And before that, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer. And before that, Everything Is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer, and before that, A Short History of Nearly Everything. I think that is every book I have ever read since uni. That's four years. Wow. Yeh, I need to change that....

I just don't know how to find books I won't hate. Because it's about 98% of them.

Oh and I read 'One Day', which was nice, and the movie better be good.


I'm avoiding the question.

When I was a kid I read a LOT more. I remember I took a book with me EVERYWHERE. We went on holiday to Florida and we were in the Hard Rock Cafe. I read my book waiting for the food to arrive, and all of a sudden the music got really loud and all the waiters and waitresses started dancing. I got really annoyed: I just wanted to read my book! I got teased a lot by Mum and Dad, ha. I think it was one of the 'Naughtiest Girl' books by Enid Blyton. Love it.

The first books I remember reading were all Enid Blytons. I remember there was a bookcase in the hallway FULL of them. They were all my Mum's from when she was a little girl, thick hardback books, with lots of pictures. I should try and find them actually, they were pretty cool.

So I guess the short answer is: Enid Blyton books.

cinematic orchestra.

1994.

 an up-side to having a clear out.

heckyeatumblr#7.

http://tumblr.com/xsx1xkgzm5    

7. Explain your religious beliefs.


I'm hungover so this will either be short and sweet or lengthy and confusing.

I find the idea of a God pretty terrifying: that someone is watching and knows everything about me (including my thoughts) and will use this knowledge upon which to base a decision about whether I will spend an eternity hopping around on clouds or being ruthlessly tortured by an angry red man.

But then again, I find the idea of there not being a God pretty terrifying too. This is it, this is all we are: we live, we die, we're gone. Boom.

I suppose my religious beliefs can't really be based on emotional response anyway....either way it's all just plain terrifying.

Anyway. I study Biology. I 'believe' in evolution. I guess that's me then, scientist = atheist.

I don't mean to say that this is purely about the maths of it. So we figure out an equation (evolution), apply it, and disprove a previous hypothesis (ie that there is a Man with a big beard wearing sandals in the sky who loves us all very much, but, given the unavoidable and pending opportunity will see to it that we suffer an eternity of burning damnation if we get a divorce/ have sex before marriage/ are gay etc), and that's that....

I guess what I'm trying to say is that just cos I'm not religious, it doesn't mean I'm not 'spiritual'. Though trust me, I'm not throwing that word around carelessly. To quote Russell Brand (ma fave),

"If you're like me, you'll balk at someone telling you they're spiritual as it's not a very spiritual thing to do, one can scarcely imagine St Francis of Assisi brushing a starling from his shoulder, grasping your palm then brusquely asserting that he's "well religious"."

Gosh I'm rambling. I just realised. Well, I'm not about to re-write this. Sorry Religion, I do understand that you are probably worthy of more than half a page of waffle intertwined with quotes from 'Booky Wook 2' (not the Bible- surprisingly) and some South Park references ...maybe I'll redress our issues at a later date, but at the moment I have got some hefty snoozing to do. Oh tequila you little whore, you are a smelly pirate hooker.

heckyeatumblr#6.

http://tumblr.com/xsx1xkgzm5

6. Write about the person you want to be.

I want to be happy with who I am, and what I can achieve.

I want to be able to actively acknowledge that the my personal wellbeing and health are more important than hours of work I complete in a day.

I want to be able to find the idea of an uncertain future exciting, motivational and inspiring, instead of just plain terrifying.

I want to be able to tell everyone that I love, that I love them and all the reasons why, without feeling embarrassed or shy.

As  regards appearance, without meaing to go all Pussy Cat Doll on yo' ass, if I could just form some sort of hybrid of the above beautiful and inspiring and talented women, that would be pretty awesome too.

the beginning of the end.

Today I handed in my dissertation.

But there were no fireworks, and there was no confetti, and there wasn't even any heroic music in the background.

This was strange.

I proceeded to drink four pints and two shots (on my own partially), then go home and sleep for three hours. Tonight I was supposed to go out and party...

But TBH all I want to do is cuddle up and watch a movie film with my gorgeous boyfriend. I think tonight be the most I have missed The Boy since he left. At least until now I could re-assure myself that I could be productive in his absence. And I could distract myself. 

I want someone to be here to hold me, and tell me I did good. I want someone to eat ice cream with (not that I don't eat ice cream...on my own...in the dark...sobbing). I want to hear all about the random shit he did when he was little. I want to feel awesome about a decision to not go out cos I know there is no such thing as wasting time when I'm with him. 

I just miss you. I am watching Muppet Treasure Island in your honour. And Little Tom gave me ice-cream for my birthday so I will probs eat B&J in your honour too. If I had rum, I would drink it.

I can't wait to share my life with you, even the naff bits where there aren't any fireworks.

heckyeatumblr#5.

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5. Write a tutorial.

How to stay sane in final year.

You will need:

• friends
• a couple of series of awesome comedy shows
• a kettle
• organisational skills
• an amazing sense of humour
• persistence
• optimism
• last.fm account
• something to look forward to.

This isn't really a stepwise process, just more of a 'apply as necessary' scenario. But here are a few guidelines.

• Make the most of your friends; you can double up here in making them your something to look forward to. Try and go on at least one 'date' a week. It doesn't have to involve alcohol- but it helps.
• Take breaks. I guess if it's a nice day/ you don't live in Britain, you could go outside. If not, grab a blanket and a cuppa and bung in a DVD. Comedy shows are awesome cos they tend to be short and can alleviate any 'pending doom' atmosphere you may have unintentionally created.
• Drink too much tea. NB there is no such thing as too much tea, but it never hurts to test the boundaries.
• Plan ahead. If you're not a planner, at least don't be a panic-er.
• Learn to laugh at the utter hilarity that is your life right now. Cos if you can't laugh- then you will cry.
• One step at a time. Whatever happens this year, it will all be over in a year. Try not to let past failure affect your attitude towards your future success. 
• That said: feel free to let your past success affect your attitude towards your future success.
• Listen to awesome music. Listen while you study (if you can trust yourself to not sing along), listen with friends, listen and dance, listen and run (that running playlist is getting heckers I tell you), listen and SING, listen and smile. Some of my favourite last.fm tags at times like these: #disney #soul #prog rock #jamie cullum
• Book a frickin' holiday. Or at least make a facebook event. When the time comes, you better be ready to fucking celebrate.

No matter how shit things are, remember that in a year, you'll have a job, and things will be even worse! JOKES. Nah, just don't forget to live while you're getting ready to start living.