flexible.

i know i'm only 22, hardly a lifetime of wisdom. but it keeps hammering down on me, this one chunk of advice, mantra, testament, whatever.

rigid plans are pointless. fluidity is a necessity and so, with this comes acceptance; comes contentment.

splitscreen: a love story

streetwise opera.

i discovered this project at latitude festival this weekend, a nice surprise viewing while my friend and i waited for the london contemporary orchestra in the film and music arena. 

streetwise opera weekly workshop programme which brings together a collection of film makers, producers and performers, who all have experienced homelessness. the artists work together to create professional pieces and also to develop the skills, confidence and creativity of all those who attend and organise the gatherings. 

their most recent works is a collection of four short opera films, each based around a famous fable. the pieces work brilliantly alone, but when watched in succession, it really accentuates their differences and therefore indicates the intricacies of creative processes that led to the finished result, and just how delicately appropriate each detail of the performance is. 

http://www.streetwiseopera.org/fables/

cocknbullkid.

caught this act at latitude this weekend. anita blay gave a really gorgeous performance. i'd never heard any of her music before but i still danced like a loon and loved every minute. i particularly love this song, as i feel it rings pretty clear with where my boyfriend and i are at the moment. we drift between intense sadness and emptiness at not being together whilst still holding on to the wisdom we have gained in knowing that the only reason we are sad and empty is because we remember what it was like to be happy and full.

this is an obvious choice for a single from the album ('adulthood') , but everything she played was beautifully true, fun and glamorous (can noise be glamorous?).

the craft.

"we are the weirdos, mister."

ah, many an afternoon spent 'toiling' (ha) in the garden shed, surrounded by tea lights, writing spells, playing with ouija boards, and practising black magic. this was a normal thing for 12 year olds to do, right?

sufjan.

a new favourite artist.

favourite lyric: 'don't carry on carrying efforts'. here here.

fighting.

every time i tell someone new or old, a relative or a friend, a co-worker or a stranger about my plans for the next 18 months of my life, i find myself fighting.

admittedly, not aggressively, but definitely passionately. i fight to defend my plans against their criticisms or implied opinions. i also have to fight to stay positive about my plans in my own mind, which is difficult when no-one seems to have many qualms on giving me their thoughts about it all.

i can't expect people not to give their opinions, and i know that no-one does it to upset me, or even to provoke any sort of emotion or lingering thought. but obviously it does.

i have to keep asserting the facts and the reasons as to why i am doing what i am doing, and also why it really doesn't matter what 95% of people who have an opinion on the matter say or think.

although i know that this could all fall down, and that i will miss my family, friends and this country, and that   i didn't work hard for four years as a scientist to be a waitress or a cleaner or a telemarketer...i also know that 

this is the oppurtunity of a lifetime.

my passion, my qualifications, my ambition and my spirit aren't going anywhere. my career can wait. my heart can't. i'm not throwing anything away. quite the opposite in fact; i'm spreading my arms so far wide with such enthusiastic openness, a willingness to learn, and no pre-judgement or specified intention that i'll scoop up anything i can get.

this is what i tell anyone who doubts me...

...but it's also what i have to tell myself. 

drunk.

i'm drunk.

festival.

i know that no one in their right mind would take an alexander mcqueen scarf to a music festival...but we can dream. I WANT THAT SCARF. latitude tix and awesome company will have to do for now though. 

philly jays.