heckyeatumblr#2.

http://tumblr.com/xsx1xkgzm5


2. Write about your favourite kind of music.


This is difficult as I don't actually have a favourite kind of music. I guess I'll just write about one of them :p


At the moment I am enjoying listening to Classical Movie Soundtracks. It's awesome cos there are no words (so I can't sing along and get distracted), but it's still all very nostalgic. 


...I have been essaying for about 11 hours today so I'm not feeling very creative. This is kind of a dumb question too. So. Yer.
x

heckyeatumblr#1.

http://tumblr.com/xsx1xkgzm5


1. Write about your favourite charity and why you support it.


I wish I knew more about the world and I could justify my support even better.


I remember I first found out about Amnesty International when I was in Year 8. This was before they had a MAJOR change to their campaigning tactic: we got a letter in the post just addressed to 'The Occupier' and I asked Mum if I could open it ("YAY MAIL!" and she said "Yes if you like but it might not be very nice.". Indeed, the letter was from AI, and featured a story of a young man from South America who had been detained and tortured for something or other (hey, this was 10 years ago). Whilst in prison, the man had been asked to confess to the crime, and for each time he denied, he had to attempt to balance a pen on its tip; each time the pen fell, it was forced into his urethra. The story also included pictures of the man's corpse after 'police' had gouged out his eyeballs. 


Obviously, as a 12 year old, this was pretty freaky shit (still is). I took the leaflet into school to show my friends. 'Charity Week' was approaching, which was a week of fund-raisers and activities in the summer which culminated in a fair on the Friday, with games and cakes etc. Each year group selected a charity to support and send their money to. So the week before, there were year assemblies where anyone who had a charity to propose could stand up and persuade everyone vote for their charity of choice. 


As a timid and paranoid 12 year old, niggled by many many self image issues, it was a pretty big deal that I stood up and told 200 people about a man who had to put a pen in his penis and who got his eyes gouged out. 


Unfortunately, what AI hadn't made clear in their leaflet was how money could actually resolve these issues, and so when someone asked how their money would be spent, I honestly couldn't answer...all I knew was that this was horrible behaviour and it had to be stopped. Anyway, I didn't 'win' the charity proposals (some of the other girls in the year knew someone with access to a Pudsey Bear outfit, and they had also started to developed breasts: I had no chance.).


As I grew up, I guess I forgot about the charity (overshadowed by pop music, then grunge music, skateboarders and under age drinking I suppose). Until I got to uni, where I met my beautiful flatmate Anna (maybe I'll dedicate a post to just her soon...). She was an avid supporter of the organisation and set away starting up her own UEA group pretty quick after we all started. I got involved thereafter, and have been attempting to regularly letter-write since. AI had substantially changed their campaigning tactics since 2000, and their promo materials no longer consisted of corpses and horror stories, but of strong people desperate for change, and making moves to make the change on their own, just asking for a bigger voice.


AI acts to empower people who are falling victim of human rights abuses. Often, they focus on small, individual cases. A prisoner of conscience who suddenly receives a huge influx of international mail is often treated with a lot more respect by the prison guards. In addition, letters to government officials regarding this prisoner let them know: The world is watching. If not that, then it can just make them aware of an injustice that they were genuinely unaware of. AI often acts on behalf of small NGOs who are suffering at the hands of suppressive regimes and struggling to have their voice heard. AI can also tackle HR injustices head on, by lobbying governments to change policies which can have unintentional/ accidental/ intentional affects on specific groups of people and their rights.


AI is an international organisation campaigning for human rights. I NOW KNOW! You can support them with donations which go towards campaigns (public awareness, government pressure, local support) which support the fight against human rights injustices all over the world. You can also support them by buying yourself a HUGE pile of stamps, logging onto their site and writing as many letters as you can to either a) a member of government or b) a prisoner of conscience. 


 I support AI because it promotes education (maybe somewhat indirectly) about international affairs. I support AI because it's effective. I support AI because it's inspiring that it's effective. I support AI because it's cool to know what's going on in my world, and to know that I can influence it.

http://www.amnesty.org.uk/


thanks to samsanwam x

cappadocia.

June 2008.

still burning.

" Now I feel home. We talk about everything, the keyboards have disappeared.  This week has been so intense, we are burning and I’m scared we will burn out.

On Friday we went to the Bar on the Hill and we were a couple. I love being a couple with him."


17/10/09

hilarious.

I had to share this somewhere.

One of my acquaintances had an almost sort of but not quite threesome last night.

I caught the bus with him into the city today, and instead of asking for a return, he instead asked for a 'two-way', terminology which I have never heard used by our city bus providers nor any of their users.

ACTUAL LOL.

waste.

If I didn't waste 80% of my energy analysing just how shit a person I was...

I wonder what I could actually achieve.

real life.

first time applying for a real life job. though it's not paid. so maybe it's not real...

anyway.

it dawned on me that i already know how this will go.

if i get it: i'll know that the position/ organisation is shit.
if i don't get it: i'll know i'm shit.

this is truly how i real about myself. and i realise that this is representative of a number of aspects of my life.

yup.

once more.

OK so it wasn't the best episode (I'm not sure I could ever pick tbh...) but it was pretty awesome...

I've got a theory,

That it's a demon,

A dancing demon-

No, somthing isn't right there.

I've got a theory,

Some kid is dreaming, 

and we're all stuck inside his wacky Broadway nightmares.

I've got a theory, we should work this out.
 

It's getting eerie, 

What's this cheery singing all about?


It could be be witches, some evil witches...

Which is ridiculous cos witches they were persecuted Wicca good and love the 
Earth and women power and I'll be over here.


I've got a theory, it could be bunnies.....

(I've got a theo-)



Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes!

They've got those hoppy legs and twitchy little noses-

And what's with all the carrots, 

What do they need such good eyesight for anyway?

Bunnies!

Bunnies!

It must be bunnies!

..or maybe midgets.





I've got a theory, 




we should work this fast.




Because it clearly could get serious before it's passed...

portman.

this wonderful woman keeps popping up in dior ads in my browsers, and i really don't mind. more please.

norwegian wood.

 “I guess I’ve been waiting so long I’m looking for perfection. That makes it tough.“

“Waiting for the perfect love?”

“No, even I know better than that. I’m looking for selfishness. Perfect selfishness. Like, say I tell you I want to eat strawberry shortcake. And you stop everything you’re doing and run out and buy it for me. And you come back out of breath and get down on your knees and hold this strawberry shortcake out to me. And I say I don’t want it anymore and throw it out the window. That’s what I’m looking for.”

“I’m not sure that has anything to do with love.” 

“It does. You just don’t know it. There are times in a girl’s life when things like that are incredibly important.”

“Things like throwing strawberry shortcake out the window?”

“Exactly. And when I do it, I want the man to apologize to me. ‘Now I see, Midori. What a fool I’ve been! I should have known that you would lose your desire for strawberry shortcake. I have all the intelligence and sensitivity of a piece of donkey shit. To make it up to you, I’ll go out and buy you something else. What would you like? Chocolate mousse? Cheesecake?’”

“So then what”

“So then I’d give him all the love he deserves for what he’s done.”

I cannot deny that this movie wasn't stunning. Obviously the landscapes but also the fashion and the interior design. Call me shallow.

wake up.

the first thing i do in the morning, before i can even get out of bed (yes i go to sleep with my computer next to my bed) is check my email.

even if its just a few words, it means everything to start my day by hearing from him.

i can't wait until i don't need to press a button, type passwords and wait for my eyes to focus before he can be a part of my morning routine :)

giggles.

missing him x

remember.

dear future/ present chloe,

you have never handed in a piece of work that you didn't doubt yourself for at least a few hours for during its completion.

you have never failed a piece of work (except that one in first year...but that doesn't count- literally).

you have never handed in something that you didn't try your hardest at.

you have never handed in a piece of work, or taken an exam that you would describe as 'easy'.

so the fact that your current work for your degree is difficult, time consuming, confusing, exhausting and sometimes dull is not surprising.

in 3 months, this will all be over. and no matter how you do, it won't lead to any kind of 'demise', or downfall, or disaster. life will go on. and you will be happy.

so keep it up champ.

love you x

alisha.

dancing in the living room which was full of ornamental pigs and eclectic dangling wind-chimes on a saturday night with national lottery on 'mute' remnants of poppadoms on the floor with my parents who were probably tipsy and older wiser cooler sister and i would wear pigtails because i looked most like emma bunton than any of the others and army print trousers with alisha's attic on full booming through dad's 20 year old free standing speakers which he always insisted on having even though they took up 60% of the floor space in the little semi where i grew up and we'd phone my grandparents to see if anyone was a millionaire after they'd announced the numbers

realisation.

searching through old files on the train home for something to do.

"The importance and passion of my life is screaming, screaming so violently and desperately from beneath piles and years worth of assurances that trying hard will get me everything I need. I’m so desperate to get everything I need, in case I miss out or lose or die or fail, I am listening to these assurances.

I am listening for clues, for help about how to live my life.

I am listening so hard I can’t even see what’s in front of me, and always has been. Love is life is living."

i think i have had this same thought process a hundred times. but still my insides curl and squeeze at the thought and fear of every day living. just hoping one day i'll hold on to that realisation.

spring.

friends.

refresh.

I really needed yesterday.

I know that the confidence it gave me is already leaking away, as I further analyse my data for my dissertation and realise that a lot of it goes against current opinion: and I may well get downgraded for having 'bad' data unless I can come up with a good alternative hypothesis...

ANYWAY.

I really needed yesterday.

I've been worrying a lot about the future. Finding work, and enjoyable work with prospects at that.

It was so inspiring to be:
i) communicating with the public
ii) interacting with young people
iii) working with people with a similar education to me but had varied experiences of the 'real world'
iv) see what else is going on in the world of science and research!

I've always thought that a career in science communication, working with the public and with young people, with aim to help them to find out about what's really going on in their world, would be amazing. To communicate and interact with people from all different walks of life, with the aim to help them formulate their own INFORMED opinion, would be so fulfilling and inspiring.

There is no way we are going to change this world without education. I understand that there is so much more to everything than this, but it's a vital starting point. Assuming we find ourselves a productive, pro-active, optimistic, selfless government one day...No matter how much money governments can move around to encourage change to make our world a healthier, happier, more sustainable, less deprived place for us and our children, change isn't going to happen without the people power behind it. Nothing can undergo permanent, good change in the right direction without the passion of an informed, united population behind it.

So maybe that's where I belong?

defective.

boyfriend - check
family - check
money - check
education - check
food - check
shelter -check
friends -check

anxiety - check
fear - check
stress - check
paranoia - check
sadness - check

it doesn't add up.

sunshine.

Today was the first truly gorgeous day of the year.
It only just hit 7 degrees but the sunshine was beautiful.

You don't have to be outside to tell when the weather is nice in England: everyone just beams with enthusiasm when the weather takes a good turn. It's like we're coming out of hibernation.

On the plus side, moving to Australia will GUARANTEE more days like this. On the down side, those guys can really take their weather for granted over there. It's unlikely that the sunny nature of the sky will reflect the average persons resultant disposition.

I'm hoping I can be different than that: and I'll always be happy!

Here's hoping :)

Looking forward to sharing my life, my weather, my daylight and smiles with a certain floppy haired Aussie gent. x

children.

I'm home for the weekend and I don't think much more of it than being able to make some money so I can afford to see my boyfriend.

I didn't really feel like going out with Mum and Dad to the pub so I didn't. I didn't really feel like talking to them much so I didn't.

At work today, I was working with a woman who has two daughters. They are both different but she is extremely proud of both of them: it was all she could talk about. I didn't mind, I encouraged it, it was nice to hear about these people, and the way she talked about them.

I was working on the baby ward, there were 9 patients, 7 of whom had given birth in the last 24 hours. They were all exhausted (obviously) but so so peaceful, not just in a sleepy way. Just: complete, content, pure.

At lunchtime I sat with two other ladies. One of their son's is getting married in May, and if she's not talking about the wedding, she's talking about her weight loss and exercise, all implemented for the wedding. The other one's son is turning 18 and she was in a panic about getting the right cake, not wanting to make him feel childish if it was too bright etc.

On the way home, it was raining. I went past two lots of mums and their children skipping around their siblings prams, jumping in puddles etc. Just being a family, going for a walk on a Saturday afternoon.

Have I missed something?
Am I a bad daughter?

It seems that once you have children, it's all you care about. Mum told me "As a parent, you are only as happy as your unhappiest child."

I can't help but feel guilty that I don't acknowledge this. And I owe so much.

Feeling a bit absent today.

laura.

beaut.

just one.

if i had just one summer with you.

give me just the time, the money, the weather to sew my dreams together and i'd make it all ours.

patchwork collaborations of memories, longings, hopes, aspirations and we'd live it all out together.

bicycle rides through green local villages straight from childhood memories, and we'll giggle at pub names.

long sunday mornings with no-where to go but maybe the corner shop to buy eggs for breakfast.

i'll dress up for you, you'll take me out, hold my hand, take me no further than that bar we always walked past but never went in: it's a glamorous paradise right outside my front door when i'm with you.

we'll dance in my bedroom, in our lounge room, in bars, in streets, in fields.

we'll lay on the grass and watch all the families and friends being together at festivals.

we'll stay up late, intoxicated, elated, watching our favourite bands together or discovering new music.

we'll beg for the sun to stay down just so we can lay together that little bit longer.

i'll throw parties and show you off, show us off, laugh and talk well into the night.

we'll watch the new harry potter movie together.

we'll see each other's bare legs and arms in public as we squint through rays of sunshine.





if i had just one summer with you, i'd never let you forget.

furniture.

please include with vintage desk. 

yes.

housemates.

can never really be just mates you are in a house with.

should i be worried about moving in with my boyfriend?

why does everyone have to change when you are sharing a space with them...