new.

here i am, in newcastle, new south wales, living in my new house, with my newly-non-long-distance boyfriend.

newcastle is a strange place. i find myself getting frustrated with it, but i think one of the main reasons is its utter non-englishness. now, as an individual who has elected to move here out of choice, this is probably something i need to get over.

it's such a sparse city. as a non-driver, this is pretty dampening...i'm so used to being able to walk or cycle everywhere, or at least being able to cycle or catch a bus to a specific hustly-bustly centre, where everything i need is within easy walking radius. but now, i'm landed in a loosely associated muddle of suburbs, each with different amenities on offer. even though i live in 'central' newcastle, the nearest supermarket is a 15 minute bus ride away. i'm a 5 minute walk from the australian equivalent of the main 'high street', and it's fairly small, and never particularly busy. after spending the summer in london, i thought i would revel at the chance to shop in a quiet atmosphere. but it's just plain odd.

i think, subconsciously, i've grown up feeling that busy places are good places; where the people are is where the life is. if i were to walk to a store or a park and only see about 5 others en route, i would start to doubt whether the place was even open. where is everyone?! it makes me feel very disconnected; paranoid even.

i want to feel proud that this is my home; it's been a lot of work getting here. i know of lots of people who have grown up here and attended uni here, and are happy to seek work here. so there must be something to it. i just don't get it. are people in denial about this city, or am i just missing something? worse still; maybe the only reason this doesn't feel so homely is because it's not england.

i know what there is to love; the beaches, the gorgeous cafes, the bogey hole. but why don't i love it?