children.

I'm home for the weekend and I don't think much more of it than being able to make some money so I can afford to see my boyfriend.

I didn't really feel like going out with Mum and Dad to the pub so I didn't. I didn't really feel like talking to them much so I didn't.

At work today, I was working with a woman who has two daughters. They are both different but she is extremely proud of both of them: it was all she could talk about. I didn't mind, I encouraged it, it was nice to hear about these people, and the way she talked about them.

I was working on the baby ward, there were 9 patients, 7 of whom had given birth in the last 24 hours. They were all exhausted (obviously) but so so peaceful, not just in a sleepy way. Just: complete, content, pure.

At lunchtime I sat with two other ladies. One of their son's is getting married in May, and if she's not talking about the wedding, she's talking about her weight loss and exercise, all implemented for the wedding. The other one's son is turning 18 and she was in a panic about getting the right cake, not wanting to make him feel childish if it was too bright etc.

On the way home, it was raining. I went past two lots of mums and their children skipping around their siblings prams, jumping in puddles etc. Just being a family, going for a walk on a Saturday afternoon.

Have I missed something?
Am I a bad daughter?

It seems that once you have children, it's all you care about. Mum told me "As a parent, you are only as happy as your unhappiest child."

I can't help but feel guilty that I don't acknowledge this. And I owe so much.

Feeling a bit absent today.